Thursday, June 25, 2009

๒г๏кє ยק ... ฬє ђค๔ ๒๏гкєภ ยק

I felt cold and can't fall asleep when I lying on the bed. The sky is shouting and crying .. Light and rain .. let me feel more lonely .. lonely .. is a feeling that let ppl cry , exhausted , and .. fear.
Just now , I called u gv me back the book which i borrow from my fren. I ask u put it on the table then I take it tmr.But u dun wan, U wan .. I take it myself . I was stomachache seriusly and crying all the time.. I dun noe wat I was doing just now . tears shed down uncontrolly.. body shivery and my hand hold tightly ..I sked ..I fear..I feel I going to 'slp'... I was crying without sound. Nobody noe I was crying Nobody noe ...I'm sad.. Nobody ..
A dark night .and it is drizzling . I look at outside , I recall wat had happened just now .. Tat sound from the phun .. Tat is a sound tat I were love .. Tat was a sound , I were miss .. Tat was a cruel sound from a cruel mouth . Tat.. sentence wat u said.. hurt me so much .. I .. I... I did wonder to call u .. but.. I had made a wrong decision .. I stil rmb wat u said just now.. Like music .. swimming around of me..
I try hard to find out more abt us .. From we knew .. den we r fren.. den.. best fren.. den.. kei gog.. den bf .. den .. ex-bf ..
All thing happened in 11 months .. This day .. 25th june ..All thing had done.. ended.. finished...Tat's nth for me.. Really nth ?? I ask myself many times and force myself to stop cry..I try to forget wat u had promise to me and done for me .. I try to forget wat u talk to me either the gud word or bad word.. I try to forget ..
It is hard to forget everything.. I'm not a teacher who can call the duty's person go to eraser the blackboard. I'm not! Tat memories between and belong to us is can't erase ...
U did too much for me.. but U also take it away from now .. My eye swallon or pain .. My head is cry til headache.. I'm can't slp .. My brain is full of u .. My eye is obtain tears everytimes.. My mood is down n down now... watever how was me..U not care anymore.. Ur caring is useless to me .. And now... When I miss u.. My head will look down , I will silence .. I will quiet.. bcz.. this time.. this moment .. I wanna cry .. I'm control my feeling ..
....................................................................................

Today in skul, I.. sat on my seat.. I suddenly turn back and shock .. I stil tot tat u will cum to my seat .. While I look carefully , Tat's not u .. Tat guy is Ju Shen , He came for borrow the stepper.. Then.. I bowl down my head..and told them I'm tired ..need rest more...I ... I... have told everyone we are broke up.. They seem like sumbody else.. laugh at me.. sum silly guy will keep on talking abt u.. I really wanna slap her when she talk u .. hah... Izit u feel funny on other's wound?
ahahhhh... I feel funny too... (lame)
The bell rang at the mm's period. It signal it is the time we back home. Everybody is happi and excited .They can bek home . But.I hope tat the skul will not off... I sked tat feel ,I walk alone to home. I feel the lonely when I walk alone and nobody stand bside me when everybody was walking out.I quickly walk and meet Yen Ching. we chat a while and her fren is beside her. She has her fren and leave me alone. Last time , when I out from thr, I have u, but .. now.. I just realize that I have not buddy beside me..
Hahah... I'm lonely now. .. Hiaz... Haiz... I tell myself many times .. I have to used to live with myself.. I can live very well without u . But.. I can't .. I ..can't.. Maybe I nid sum times to learn bek .. how to take care my self...
The radio is broadcasting the song ..' U r not alone' dAD BESIDE ME .. I can't release my mood now.. I wan cry agian ..Mayb I can more strong.. Mayb I will cure after sumtimes.. Mayb I will nt sked of lonely .. Mayb I wil not cry ...mayb I will nt miss u after sumdays.Mayb I wil hav a guy who better than u... Mayb.. ..A lots of mayb...mayb.. I will happy again .. Mayb I no nid preted anymore.. Mayb.. I wil not mis u anymore.. Mayb...I will never sked at night.. Myab .. My heart wil nt pain again.. Mayb .. I.....................I nt love u anymore... Mayb... Mayb...
I'm tired already.... For now.. I.. will nt cry for u .. I .. return everything to u .And,, I pass my life with happy .. This is wat I promise to myself.. I can't cry from now.. I will smile everytimes I face to others.. I.. promise and force myself do it.. I force myself not to take the phun .. It wil ler me call u.. I cant call u!! I have to slp .. I hav to hide myself in bedroom ..I..can't cry.. My eye is too pain.. Painfull.. Head.. stomach .. and body .. even hearth and pain so..
Smile and live with myself.. Smile will take gud luck for everyone ,rite? I have to smile.. Hahahah.... Zhiying... smile from now..+)....

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