I'm pretending cruel now

This morning in the Chemistry lad , as usual , we chat . I means , We talk with mock to each other . I told him abt I called Yong B last nite bcz asking abt his -ex 's fs. Just like tat . Okay , the quarrel was began. We quarell and finally , I tot the winner is me bt , I got wat he felt in this time conversation .
I told him abt I will go to find tat gal and let her noe abt our thing. I 'm making reprisals now . I told him abt my plan. First ,I edit his fs and wrote abt many sweet thing abt us.. Then, I view her fs on purpose .After this ,I will let her noe abt when she was couple with him , he didnt love her at all . I told him abt this , bt wat his response is , ' I can said , tat profile is nt my edit .. is chong ji yien edit ! ' He talk with pround and smile to me. I bowl down my head , and I said ' oorh.. hehe' Yea.. wat can I reapond ? I dun noe.. But , I noe , actually he doesnt love me rite .. I fel it long time and Everytime I ask him , he just cheat at me .
I feel shame on myself , I dun noe wat to do and I just get hurt from him . I noe tat, he is unwilling to show out wat kind of relationship of us and he just nt treat me as his gf .
I should noe wat position is mine and I should clear with my action . I should delete all thing , I should distinguish wat should I do . I smart this time . I gave up . I gave up . But , it is nt represent I 'm surrender.Nope! I just do wat I wanna do now . I let him happy ,I wont let him feel I 'm like a fly alw disturb him.. Nope ! I'm nt a rubbish ! Sry.. I 'm a smart gal . I wont let others feel I'm bothering around u !
From the day we fine again , I did make a preparetion in my mind . Once I take up this love , sumday , I wil put down with happy . I did make it ! So, if we break this time , I must nt like last time .. fool around and stupid .. mess myself up . I can handle my life very well. I can ..
I shall mature to view and absorb all the things tat happen in my surrounding . I wont foolish like last time. Today , I lost u . Tommorrow , I get a better . I will ..

mad and sad

Just now , I go his profile and seach everything abt his ex . I dun noe y wan to do all of this but I just try to find a way to relax and release my mind ! I do very angry bcz he is changed now . He wont sayang me anymore. Wat can I do . I .. alw tum him bt it is nt works anymore .
When he is angry , he just cool and silence to me . No matter wat I said to him , how i tum him. he just like tat. We go for breakfast this morning , it is nt a gud time for us. I apology for wat I said . Mayb I wrong or I'm wrong . But, U did angry to me and hurt me so much u noe.. I really tired in this kind of relationship . I wont break with u bcz I really cant forget and put down u .
I just hope ,when I unhappy ,I have sumone be with me . I just hope I have someone who can alw cheer me up and let me smile . I just hope i have sumone who very sayang me. I had it !! but .. it is past now. Now.. I din.. I just be the sumone who alw let ppl scold and angry .
Wat can I do ?? Mayb I should put down form the begining .Mayb Tat letter should not let u read . As wat I said.. once the glass crush , thr has a rift thr.
u said u wan control me and stay higher than me. BUT, Love is nt talking abt it. I knew now . u do wanna sayang ur gf and just love her. I noe u love me very much and me too. But, u did a lot and hurt me sumtimes..
I fear of u , I hope I can in msn 4ever bcz I have Lz pui me. He is doing wat u did last time. From time to time , mayb he wil replace u.He wont angry me and he alw say yes to me. Other side, Everytime u heard sumthing u dun like u just throw away everything and silence to me.. Omg.. I hate out with u !!
Zhi Ying, it is time to think properly.. ken or lz.. I .. dun noe how to choose bt I really treat lz as my fren .. my best fren . For ken , I just feel nth to him.. I noe I will pass my life like last time.. alone .. sum day in the future.. I nt dare to face alone and I just hope I have sumone pui.. tat is enough to me ...I just hope I can call sumone den chat .. tat is enough.. I dun noe ..wat my mind thinking now.. love him.. ??? Hahah.. mayb now I just likes him.. I dun noe..

Best frens

A week has past. Many thing happened . I realize tat , many of my fren was facing ‘ fren’s prob ‘ in the past week . and I just feel I really luckly and I have a lot of fren be with me . Now , I wan list out all my fren ..
Kelly , She is my best fren num 1 . yup, we are fren for many yers . Since kindergarden ,we are fren and now we r best fren . She is a such gud fren and she is very care her fren . Tat’s true. she alw hiding her hard in frotn of her fren . Kelly , actually u no nid feel hurt abt how they treat u . U said they nt ur best fren , they just ur ‘fren’ . I noe wat feeling u r. U cried in class bcz of this such thing . Nvm .. I will alw be with u , and I promise I wont treat u like them .Ok ? Gambateh in ur studies ..
Then , Yen ching is the 2nd best fren I wanna talk abt . U r a such calm and clever gal . U really noe wat u wan and u can annalysis wat r going on . U help me a lot in my trouble time . But , U alw hide up urself and when u cry and sad .. I also dun noe how to Tum u and u let me worry many times ! U have ur bf who loves u very much . Hmm.. envy u tim .. u gt a kinda best bf and I din have.. Wish ur love will through the end .. And plzz… dun just share hapiness with us . talk abt sumthing u dislike when u in bad mood.. watever.. best fren 4ever..
Hm.. The next is Lychee lorh . She is kinda xi xin . she like to be a kid and she like to be protect . Cute nerh u .. Lychee .. I alw chat with yen ching and neglect u . Sry yer.. I promise .. nxt time u feel beh song.. U tel me and I must chat with u .. okay ? hehexx..
Hmm.. my lady’s best fren is list out .. for now.. My buddy is cuming out.
Fatty !! everybidy also noe he is my best fren . He helps me a lots and he do care me . When i break with ken , fatty is the 1st guy who came and care me. This action let me feel .. he also very care me gah .. I do have a lots of happy time with him.. In the basketball match .. dating.. warh .. he is a kinda humor ..
and.. Mr leng zai .. Yup I talking abt u now.. U must very beh song I put u at the last . Aiyor.. we too fren jor.. so .. hope u dun mind . We meet in a very special time and I do like u very much . U really very same like my bf bt.. I love him more than i like u . sry .. I cant accept u .. we can b best fren rite.. (U must say ok . bcz u so sayang me ) U r the guy who most sayang me in this world. okay ??haha.. we din chat for 2 days jor.. gt miss u tim.. how lerh ?? lolx..
I hope me and my best frens will keep our frenship 4ever.. Although we will quarrel , fight , hurt, and beh song sumtimes . But.. tat is nth to us. we will be with togather and have a happy fiture togather,,
I alw dream sumday , we have a high tea in Black canyom and we take our children .we share our experiemnt and hapiness.. Myab we will have this kind of life .. Nope !! We must have it !! rite ?

Just had a dinner with him

Last night , we went to Elvis , a restaurant tat he work . Happy and sad thr... we went thr 4 an hour bt even we wne ta dinner we quarrel too. I dun noe wat happened to us ?
Okey, he said he was sick and he order many fried food and snake . I'm going on diet ! I told him many times, I wont eat !! I'm on diet ! But, at the end of the dinner he blame me and scold me ! wat is going now ! U scold me !! Fuck u!! I have no idea y he gonna scold me ? does his brain sumthing wrong ?I really hate out with him ! After this, He opology to me , he said sry .. dear.. 4gv me .. Hey .. dun u think tat u r over ard ! Now, U alw blame me and talk this talk tat.. and u never sayang me and u just keep on blame me!
Mayb tat is my problem , Bt .. out with u really nt happy .. especially we go sum restuarant . U noe, u let me feel u very .. rude . U just , just act like a kampung boy . U let me unwilling sit with u ! Last time, U wont like tat. Ur fren had influence u. so , I will nt go out with u anymore. U even dun noe wat is table manner . U really like haiz... I noe this is hurt u, Bt i have to said so.. U really.. haiz..
U find a lots of excuse to cover ur false and u wont .. never go to fixed ur problem. U wont go tt bcz of u sick. Bt, u go for a badmintoon with fren . I really dun noe how to help u ! U r damn useless..
Plz.. change urself , if not.. nobody will gv u chance anymore. Ur mom.. she is .. haiz.. i ard gv up u ... I wont push u anymore.. just let uself regret in future and.. I wil nt think we have a beautiful future anymore. Bcz.. a lazy guy wil nt have a happy future.. we wont future.. U make me very disspoint to u .. really. ..

Love is romance

Ken , the guy I love a year .. We in couple relatinship for one year . A long journey we did past . We realize each other and we do love each others .
It is stil like yesterday, the day we couple and the day we gave a chance to ourself to lead a hapy life . I do love u very much ..Do u ?
My heart to you is given: Oh, do give yours to me? Well, lock them up together, And throw away the key. U r belong to me 4ever . I love u . ken .
We past many hard situation and we support each others when one of us in a hard state. Tat’s a really strong sprit when we support . Oh, I was affraid all the time u leave me . I was fear one day u will abandone me . Oh~ this feeling is suck!
U said I was change . Since I becum more thin , U said I was change. Although I chagne more perfect and more beauty, althoguh life is different now , Love is nt change in our mind. The Seat of VIP in my heart are u . The guy I’m care ,love and worry r u . Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
How abt u ? How abt … me in ur heart ? I realize I wont trust u anymore . I sked I will feel disspoint to u again . I fear I wil gt hurt without a warning . The 1st time , I feel u r untrustful . Sry , ken . I ‘m really sry .
I will be with u to pass ur time 4ever and I wil change to a better temper. I change for u .. Since I noe u, I chagne for u. I keep fit for u , I love english for u , I cut my hair for u . Bt , the matter tat I wont change is .. I wont change my heart for forget u .. I love u ..ken

I worry abt u

I’m really worry abt him . Just chatting with him and I realize tat , he has a lot of trouble. I cant help him , Just hope can share his sadness. Sumthing bad was always going with him. Y .. Y his life is such tat unfair !!
Mayb this is his problem, mayb he doesnt appreciate his own thing , Bt.. I dun agree the god punish him with those cruel method . I really feel unfair to him !!
I noe he fears all the time and he choose to 4gt it.. dun think abt it. In this way , he wil feel better and nt so stress.. I advise him many time, go solve it and have a clear ans.. Bt..He doesnt care at all.U alw escape from the trouble .. I really dun noe how to help u.
Ur life is so unique. When the gud thing cuming,.. U really have a lots of happy .. Bt.. the gud moment is no longer.. when u bad luck . everything cum consecutive .. I..just.. sry abt it ..
Hope.. U will be fine .. soon … Hope u will stay ‘bside’ ur mom.. Hope.. U no nid to go to England.. Hope everything will gud…
Watever , I will take care u alw.. I will…

Useless

This title is write

abt me. Not him .. Mayb he is.. Bt..I wont talk him like this.. I change now ..

I'm useless.. Y I said so ? .. We fine again. We getting in love again. Sumthing wrong btw us ... Just now , when u ask me ,' R u suffer? ' I just talk sumthing noncense to cover it . We both suffer now. We do love each other very much but we cant couple . we r plying the undertable love. I really suffer.. I feel I'm getting to weak again. Tat hurt feeling cum again. U cant solve ur prob .. Her family will find u , I noe . I din blame u.. So, everytime we speak of her,, I just 'hmm' den I silence.. Bcz My heart is bleeding ..

I saw ur phun full of her pic . tat place is for me only !! Y she cum and snatch my place !! I wan her get out from thr ! rite now !!!! Tat inbox is only gt my msg ! Y she alw send msg to u !! Bitch !!! Dun u feel ashame when u b with him ?U is beling to me !!Nobocy can share with me !! damn natty gal !!

Tat stupid... hot temper.. ugly.. natty .. naughty..fool.. idiot .. porkchop .. faker..bitch !! Pls stay away from my bf !! Dont u noe tat , Ur name is very unpleasant to hear !! And I hate to saw ur name in his phun!!! Fuck off !! U r fool ! We r plying u and U dun noe ! U just noe.. A slave is 'serving' u

rite? hahah !!! Ur brain is so simple.. Do ur brain just have ' chau kai loon.. ur sis.. and .. urself' ' Watever thing also ask ur sis solve .. U would rather ask ur sis help u pregnant ! stupid !!!

I express my feeling here.. Bt I never dare to tel him. I'm useless. I really usellss.. We cant ride like b4.. We cant fo 4 breakfast.. even .. Nt.. mayb.. u cant b with me in skul.. I pass my life like single..I dun noe..i FEEL my body like wanna faint.. I tired and suffer.. I cant imagine tat.. she sit bek of u .. and she hug u .. I cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I .. cnt stand of u tell her,, u love her!!! I cant!!! U r mine @!!!! ... I cant..... I cant do anything although I noe she is beside u .. alhough.. she is kissing u...Wat can I do is just ...crying and crying.I really confused and u too.. I really dun noe how to help u... Bt I will alw the one who support u .

this situation keep going ..I think .. I cnt stand.. Better u 2 have happy life.. and 4gt abt me.. And..Mayb ..I ..pass my life like ghost.. no feeling.. no smile.. no... everything.. is no for me...

Decision

In our life , we have to make many decison.No matter in study , family , love and even sumthing very simple like ,, food ,clothes .. etc. We have make with ourself. A few of us alw make wrong decison because they just think with simple. This wrong decision will lead us to a gud consequence or bad .. we dun noe.. we not the god .. So, we have to make it with our experience, fren's experience and.. guess..
I dun noe I made it ,this is rite or fault .. Bt, I cant stand while I was sawing he is suffering on his thing. As a ex or fren.. or.. a gal love him.. I will help him bcz ppl gt feeling ..
wHEN The time he hug me , he let me felt warm and skedful .. I dun noe y he wanna do it ? or mayb he gt another purpose. I dun noe!
I just nt dare to believe himn again.. Nt i dun love him.. U noe.. The feeling of gt hurt is so pain and I sked I have this feeling again ..
Last nite, It isa really excited nite.. Bcz e had encounter a police.. And.. tat police advise us.. this ..tat.. bla bla bla/.. I wan thx to ths police.. He isa such responsible police..
I'm sawing he is changing.. He dun wan anyone gt hurt . so our love is unpubilsh. tHIS.. It really hard to me, Bt bcz of him.. I did it for him . I dun care .. REALLY DUN CARE ??I dun noe.. As long as I can love him.. I will do watever to him ...

I am trying to have a new mind

I .. try to have a new mind .I did it . Bt, sumtimes I feel I was pass a gud thing. I lost him and I try to 4gt him .. Try to nt sad.. Yup.. I can do it.. Bt,without love I feel lonely..
Just one day, I feel better and better..and my wound is healing now. He did such cruel thing to me.. He ask for teacher to change his seat and he doesnt willing to sit with me. He did go home with his gf and .. everybody is happy to him. He does . He happy now. and me too..
I stil wil think we have a future.. like we hav our ‘ troy ashley grace chris ‘ and we live in ipoh // bla bla bla…
tat nonsece thing tat I care now.. I stil will think ..dream and .. expect . Other side, U 4gt everything .U will have ur son n duaghter with ur gf. I had to advise u.. U too lazy .. U too ‘prmosie’ bt u never keep ur word.
U just think tat love is important than everyone and u hurt sumone u care last time.. U care tat gal now is belong to u . and tat other gal u dun care is belong to whom? She is waiting ur apologize and expect to 4gv u.. She is dying time to time and she doesnt show out her feeling. She was heard wat u guys talking and she pretend heard nth . She pretend foolish and silly.
u guy now is happy rite? My smile is doesnt curve perfectly anymore. I have my fren be with me.. I had putted down everything and nt so persistance .Everytime heard tat sad song.. I will think u and I will tel myself I will meet sumone better than u . Even I doesnt meet ,I will and I must have my life ..gud life..
I just wan b fren with u . Nth.. Tat’s all .. our relatinship is .. classmate . lol…
sumthing very funny .. Let me tel u a story … a.. funny story tat everyone will experience..
A Boy n gal are fren.. tat boy love tat gal and he chase her .When he did, he promise so much likes.. we will nt through the end… we will have 3 babies and we wil.. go thr go here.. rich .. bla ba bla… and the most funny thing is gal will trust . A ll gals will believe this kind of nonsence. Bt, when d boy meet sumone . He will leave u ..Tat’s y I said.. If u din effort to do tat thing, Pls dun keep on promise to sumone. It will just let tat person dissapointed.
I realy put down and I just envy.. I will wait.. Bt .. I nt waiting the Chai kai loon now.. I ‘m waiting my new Chau kai loon.. A Chai kai loon tat will better than Chau Kai loon .. I 4gt how to spell ur name.. and .. I was nt going to correct it. I just wan my hapy future.. I dun wan care abt u ..
I happy for u .. I .. will thanks u for let me learn so much thing.. U teach me lots of thing.. and now.. I’m obtain more knowledge and I … have a fren .. A fren tat realize me more than everyone.. bt.. this fren is will nt to care abt me.. nvm..I .. will take care myself and u too.. Thanks.. ken

Betray

Betray.. a wonderful word/ he betray me.. I have learn to cruel to myself . I should nt make trouble anymore. U noe .. I sad now.. I miss him and now.. I try to 4gt him. I trying now . I noe I will be heal sumday. bt nt now ..

Hearth is dying time to time . bt When i face to him. I din gt tat hurt feel. Myab he hurt very much and I ..dun now wat I will do to him. I hav open my mind and putted down. hope them wil happy.. tat all i can say to them.. They hurt me so much . they .. betray me .. and.. I gt false too. I ..never noe his feeling and I just make decision with my mind. I 'm sorry .bt now everything is too late.

Yen ching .. My counselor.. she talk too much to me.. thx to her.. Thx.. although now My love is empty.. she and kelly and lychee will support me. With their support . I must and will gt well faster .

I must gt well faster. He.. is a gud guy..I past it and I wil meet a better . rite ?

就算我失去一切 ， 也拥有未来

他是不属于你的了。 这个事实。我接受了，唯一方不开的是，我。。忍受不了。。 背叛。。。

我会忘记他的， 我会！ 我失去了他，但我还有我的未来。 我的未来不是梦。。
我。。 吸取了教训。。 我会好好德国。。爱一个，上一科。。
你问我会等吗 ？ 我。。 不会等了。。 就像我的道歉和领悟。。 太迟了。


芷莹。。。 你能做到的。。 你已经作了一半。。 你会忘记他的。。 芷莹，不要忘记这个世界上，还有很多人陪着你。。。。